I
was on my way back from the pool with a friend. We had just spent
almost two hours baking in the Arizona sun and "relaxing". As we walked
up near my car to head up the stairs, I noticed water under my car - a
lot of water. Then I noticed splashes and circles of water - like a kid
had just taken a dirty towel and "cleaned" my entire front end of the
car. I was beyond livid - I had JUST had a car wash last weekend.
Granted it was the first car wash in eight months, I had paid money to
get it washed and beautified. I was totally upset and I'm sure I was
complaining loud enough for any neighbor to hear it.We went up stairs
and she assured me I was just seeing thing - and I clearly was not - and
we chatted before she headed home. I went about my day and showered,
napped and relaxed before heading off to work.
About 2pm I was leaving for work. I got all flustered again as I walked past the hood of my car to get in - I just didn't understand how my car got so dirty?! Grrr... I got in, turned it over and cranked the AC. As I was pulling the sunshade back and twisting it together to slide between the seats; the older gentlemen and woman who live in the condo in front of my car came onto their patio. My heart sunk...
He looked at me with the saddest face I've EVER seen on him (he's always so bubbly when I see them) and a bit of a concerned look on his face. He tried to speak at me. My car stereo was a bit loud, the AC on full blast... so I stood up and half out of my car and said "yes" with a confused look I'm sure. He very hesitantly said, I was doing this (and he motioned to emptying a bucket) and it fell and water went all over your car. I'm so sorry. I tried to clean it off but, but - (he paused with a confused and saddened look on his face).
My heart was busted wide open; God was trying to get my attention, yet again...
I let him speak and he insisted that he pay for me to get my car washed. I of course was telling him it was fine and there was no need for that. (Really, was I just 'fine' with my dirty car?! I wasn't two hours prior to this conversation - prior to this tear fest!) He insisted. I kinda laughed as God was busting my heart wide open and I explained...
On my way, I stopped at Starbucks and Chipotle - so thankful my good friends are neighbors near our house lol. As I went to get out of the car, I felt so convicted for my crappy attitude towards "whoever did that to my car" earlier in the day. My heart just broke for that gentleman. When I came out to the car after getting my drink and dinner, I was amused by the "dirty" car I saw. I kinda smiled and thought of how God used something so silly - a bucket of water and a purple car that shows any water spots - to break my heart, once again.
Throughout the afternoon and evening at work, I decided I need to go back and show some grace to this sweet man for my crappy attitude towards this situation before I knew what had happened. Seriously, why couldn't I just show him grace in the first place?! Why did it take sadness on his face and demeanor to break my heart?! Why didn't I show him grace from the first moment I saw my car dirty?! WHY - because in my self-righteous attitude, I felt no one should have messed with my car or an accident should have never occurred, period!
WOW - what a sad place to be in my heart (and actions)!!
About 2pm I was leaving for work. I got all flustered again as I walked past the hood of my car to get in - I just didn't understand how my car got so dirty?! Grrr... I got in, turned it over and cranked the AC. As I was pulling the sunshade back and twisting it together to slide between the seats; the older gentlemen and woman who live in the condo in front of my car came onto their patio. My heart sunk...
He looked at me with the saddest face I've EVER seen on him (he's always so bubbly when I see them) and a bit of a concerned look on his face. He tried to speak at me. My car stereo was a bit loud, the AC on full blast... so I stood up and half out of my car and said "yes" with a confused look I'm sure. He very hesitantly said, I was doing this (and he motioned to emptying a bucket) and it fell and water went all over your car. I'm so sorry. I tried to clean it off but, but - (he paused with a confused and saddened look on his face).
My heart was busted wide open; God was trying to get my attention, yet again...
"Dana, when are you going to learn that this life is NOT about you?! When are you going to learn that there are things WAY more important than such meaningless things as a clean car?!"I started to tear as the older man spoke out in apology. The look on his face. The realization of how perturb I was earlier. The fact of how meaningless a dirty car is. The priority of how much I should care for this man - because he is a soul but he is also an elder (someone I should treat as I would my own Grandpa).
I let him speak and he insisted that he pay for me to get my car washed. I of course was telling him it was fine and there was no need for that. (Really, was I just 'fine' with my dirty car?! I wasn't two hours prior to this conversation - prior to this tear fest!) He insisted. I kinda laughed as God was busting my heart wide open and I explained...
"You see, I had just washed my car but it was the first time in um, about eight months..."We both laughed by this point and I insisted it really was alright. He shook his head as if he didn't believe me and I smiled and told him it really was ok! Now, it took some SERIOUS breakage in my heart for me to be FULLY ok with the fact my car was a mess. I'm so thankful God has a bigger purpose. I told him it would be ok and told him to have a good rest of the day. I did ask him his name and told him mine and pointed to where I lived up the stairs. He said "Oh I know you girls" and kinda laughed as he smiled and pointed up:o) That made my heart smile as I drove off to work.
On my way, I stopped at Starbucks and Chipotle - so thankful my good friends are neighbors near our house lol. As I went to get out of the car, I felt so convicted for my crappy attitude towards "whoever did that to my car" earlier in the day. My heart just broke for that gentleman. When I came out to the car after getting my drink and dinner, I was amused by the "dirty" car I saw. I kinda smiled and thought of how God used something so silly - a bucket of water and a purple car that shows any water spots - to break my heart, once again.
Throughout the afternoon and evening at work, I decided I need to go back and show some grace to this sweet man for my crappy attitude towards this situation before I knew what had happened. Seriously, why couldn't I just show him grace in the first place?! Why did it take sadness on his face and demeanor to break my heart?! Why didn't I show him grace from the first moment I saw my car dirty?! WHY - because in my self-righteous attitude, I felt no one should have messed with my car or an accident should have never occurred, period!
WOW - what a sad place to be in my heart (and actions)!!
Father God, bring me to a place where grace is my first flinch and selfishness is defeated. Bring me to a place where grace out pours to those you place in my pathI think Jim is still planning for me to bring him a receipt...so I have a better plan that God helped me come up with:o) I feel like I need to fist off, apologize to him for my attitude. Then I decided I need to do something that would show him how much I genuinely care about HIM and not a dumb car. Someone once said Chocolate Chip Cookies cure everything so Chocolate Chip Cookies are the baking menu for morning:o) I pray that when I deliver the cookies, they are received with a forgiving heart!!
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